Madonna Catholic, A-Rod Faithful

Madonna's Brother outed her as a Catholic on Good Morning America this morning, so her affair with A-Rod must not have happened.

According to her brother, "she's still a Catholic girl" and for that reason it's "highly unlikely" that any fornication took place.

"It seemed absurd to me," he continued.  Yes, absurd.  Absurd like the time she tried to crucify herself.  Absurd like the time she tried to have David Letterman smell her underpants on the air.  None of that happened either.  A Catholic would never do such things.