WTF

US Magazine reports that A-Rod told a friend that "she's my f***ing soulmate, dude," as recently as February.  To A-Rod, a friend might be anything from a stripper he met in Toronto to an over-the-hill-and-probably-thought-she-was-a-dude-at-one-point pop star, so the credibility of this report is in question.  

Soulmate?  Madonna?  Really?  Marissa Miller might have worked.  His wife may have too. But Madonna does not.

A's Deal Harden to Cubs

The Athletics have agreed to send pitchers Rich Harden and Chad Gaudin to the Cubs.  In return, Oakland will receive highly-touted starter Sean Gallagher and former top prospect Matt Murton along with Eric "Corey's Brother" Patterson and minor leaguer Josh Donaldson.

With the Brewers' acquisition of C.C. Sabathia yesterday, Cubs GM Jim Hendry no doubt felt increasing pressure to add another power arm to contend in the NL Central.  However, Hendry tried to dispel any notions of this being a reactionary move, claiming that the clubs had been in serious talks for several weeks.

Houston Astros Set to Fly the White Flag

Having taken sole possession of the National League Central cellar after losing 10-7 to the lowly Pirates, the Houston Lastros have made it clear the team is ready to run up the white flag.

Though a poll of fan sentiment is running at about 50-50 as to whether the team should continue to try for a playoff berth, manager Cecil Cooper made it clear in today's editions of the Houston Chronicle that no one should get hopes up. Be assured that --in light of Cooper's announcement -- struggling youngster Michael Bourn will soon return to the lineup with surrender terms.

Some fans had been hopeful that Houston still had some fight left when Bourn -- currently in 0-19 slump with a .218 average -- was benched in favor of veteran Darin Erstad, who is hitting better than .300 and playing All-Star caliber defense in center field.

Not to worry: Cooper told the Chronicle that Erstad soon will retake his seat in the dugout, as Bourn has merely been given a few games off to work in the batting cage to ready himself to once again stink up Minute Maid Park.

After all, the Lastros must have something to show for having acquired Bourn in the trade of closer Brad Lidge -- who is currently 2-0 with 19 saves and a 1.00 ERA with the first place Phillies.

A-Rod Leads an Amusing Life

In between signing $275 million contracts and choking in the playoffs, Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez has been cavorting around with this broad.  Google "Madonna ugly" for more unfortunate pictures.  Needless to say, Cynthia Rodriguez has filed for divorce.  

Well done, A-Rod.  You're A-Rod, you are married with 2 kids, and you are parading around with a woman (so to speak) who was aggressively taking the world of perversion by storm during your days as a fetus.  Dolly Parton must have been unavailable, or more likely not interested.  

A-Rod denies these allegations, but nobody really believes him.  Maybe they would if he wasn't spotted on an apparent date last year, during which he took a stripper to a strip club (good one dips@*t).  

Madonna, who will basically be a senior citizen by the time A-Rod is 40, also denies these allegations.  Nobody really believes her either because she once kissed Britney Spears (ah sick).

Alex Rodriguez Stands to Lose Half His Future Pay

Although Yankees star third baseman Alex Rodriguez has already collected six years of earnings from his 10-year. $252 million contract, half of the remainder of the $27 million he is owed this year plus earnings for the next three years would be subject to a divorce settlement, according to a common understanding of conventional divorce laws.

Only a prenuptial agreement would isolate future earnings from being subjected to judicial ruling if his wife Cynthia presses for a court fight on grounds including her husband's suspected infidelities with entertainer Madonna, who formerly had been linked to numerous men including Rodriguez friend Jose Canseco.

Darin Erstad's Playing Time Gauges Astros Plans

The playing time of veteran Astros infielder-outfielder Darin Erstad is as good a gauge as any to determine whether the Astros are converting to a rebuilding mode, or continuing to fight for a playoff berth even though the team is a dozen games out of contention.

Erstad -- now playing highly effective baseball after years of health difficulties -- will likely be given more plate appearances if the team desires to win. But if the team decides to focus on the future, Erstad must be benched or traded in favor of acclimating younger talent at the big league level.

Cubs Forced to Look Elsewhere for Pitcher

Broadly circulated speculation that the Cubs had offered young pitcher Sean Marshall as part of package to acquire Indians ace C.C. Sabathia has intensified now that that Sabathia has been acquired by the Brewers.

Rich Harden now comes into focus as the new Cubs objective.

Sabathia Deal Spotlights Lance Berkman Trade

A vague and ephemeral MLB rumor that the Astros have been contemplating dealing All-Star slugger Lance Berkman to the Angels for rising first baseman Casey Kotchman has been thrown into sharp relief in the upheaval following the Brewers acquisition of ace pitcher C.C. Sabathia from the Indians.

Though the validity of the rumor has never been established, the prospect of the trade becomes much more probable now that the Brewers have emerged as the prohibitive favorite to win the National League Central Division, or at least secure a wildcard berth, at the expense of the Astros as much as anyone.

Key to the proposition will be the team's determination of whether the Astros can remain competive this year, or should begin peeling off pieces such as Berkman, Carlos Lee, Roy Oswalt, Miguel Tejada and others in exchange for prospects and younger talent. If it was not already a clear choice with the Astros a dozen games off the pace, the Sabathia deal should make it painfully obvious.

Just exactly what the Astros are thinking will be recognizable in the play of veteran infielder-outfielder Darin Erstad, who after a number of years of difficulty staying healthy is playing excellent baseball offensively and defensively and should be heavily relied upon if the Astros expect to climb back into the pennant race.

If Astros owner Drayton McLane is inclined to punt, however, then Erstad will probably lose playing time to younger players whom the team will attempt to further acclimate to the big-league environment.

Ironically, an ongoing team poll of fans had nearly half of the participatants urging the Astros to carry on rather than reconfigure.

Report: Brewers Land Sabathia

The Brewers and Indians have agreed to a deal that will send C.C. Sabathia, the reigning AL Cy Young winner to Milwaukee.  Cleveland will receive a package of minor leaguers centered around top prospect Matt LaPorta.

Was Orel Hershiser the Rangers 'Mean' Veteran?

Rangers closer C.J. Wilson's thinly veiled criticism of former teammates Mark Teixiera and Kenny Lofton has been easy enough to deduce, but can it be that former coach and front office executive Orel Hershiser was the "veteran" whom Wilson said was "mean" to younger players?

Wilson hinted in a widely disseminated interview with KTCK Radio that clubhouse chemistry has improved this year with the departures last season of Teixiera and Lofton, whom were said to be obsessed with earnings rather than winning. But Wilson also said conditions improved significantly after the 2006 season when the unnamed veteran left.

Though it would appear Wilson was talking about an active player, his true target may be disguised as such. Strictly speaking, his description does not necessarily rule out a coach, and Wilson's target very well be Hershiser as Hershiser would be fair game for Wilson since Hershiser departed for an ESPN broadcaster's position during the Hot Stove League of 2006.

Hershiser spent plenty of time with Wilson when the young future closer was under Hershiser's direction in the bullpen, and the former Dodgers superstar was known in MLB rumors to frequently belittle and sarcastically ridicule the young talent, especially pitchers and even catchers. The belittlement often was less than good natured.

Combined with morose disciplinarian Bucky Showalter, later fired as manager, the pair were a deadly duo that not surprisingly had few triumphs in the rotation or bullpen, certainly not Wilson, who finally succeeded once Showalter and Hershiser departed.

Ironically, Hershiser's acerbic, behind-the-scenes personality is totally at odds with the clear-eyed, open-faced, cleancut, wholesome, Christian public image he carefully crafts.

Chris Davis' Bat Likely to Keep Him With Rangers

As long as he keeps hitting, expect rookie corner infielder Chris Davis to find a way to stay with the Rangers, forcing the team to backtrack on plans to return him to the minors once Hank Blalock returns to first base from the disabled list.

Various published reports indicate the team has already decided as much.

The possibilities are manifold, and likely will involve Davis gaining time at third base and designated hitter, with Milton Bradley moving from DH back to the outfield at the expense of the weaker sisters sharing time out there now.

Of course, little needs to change until Blalock proves he can stay healthy.

Jose Reyes Lifts Mets Steals Toward Top Rankings

With speedster Jose Reyes on pace to steal more than 60 bases this season, the Mets have 79 so far as a team, second only in the majors to the Rays with 96. At the same time the Mets have allowed the fewest steals in the majors, just 30.

Meanwhile, the reports of first baseman Carlos Delgado's death have been greatly exaggerated, with the slugging Puerto Rican having hit four homers with 15 RBI in his last 10 games.

Tulowitzki Sends Himself to the 15-Day DL

Rockies shortstop Troy Tulowitzki, who had returned from the DL only three weeks ago after missing 46 games, suffered a bad cut on his right hand after slamming his maple bat to the ground in frustration.

Tulowitzki took responsibility for the incident, calling it a "stupid injury that I could have prevented."

His regret is of little comfort to the Rockies who will be without their starting shortstop for an estimated two weeks.

This is only the latest in a long line of freak injuries for Rockies players. In 2005, second baseman Clint Barmes broke his collarbone in a fall while carrying a large slab of meat given to him by teammate Todd Helton up the stairs in his apartment building.

Solomon Torres Leads All Since Named Closer

Left-handed reliever Solomon Torres -- named by the Brewers as the replacement for struggling closer Eric Gagne -- has notched 14 saves since assuming his new role on June 24, topping all other major league closers for the period except Angels fireballer Francisco Rodriguez, who also has 14.

Resurgent Zito May Be Turning the Corner

Barry Zito turned in one of his best starts of the season Saturday against the rival Dodgers, picking up his fourth win.

After giving up two runs in the first inning, Zito settled down and did not allow another run while pitching seven strong innings against the Dodgers.

Most encouraging for the Giants lefty was the fact that he struck out 10 batters for the first time since 2006. Despite his strong outing, Zito was actually in line to pick up his 13th loss after exiting in the middle of the seventh down 2-1. However, the Giants offense, which has struggled to provide Zito with run support all season, uncharacteristically exploded for four runs in the bottom half of the inning.

The Giants and Zito are cautiously optimistic that the former Cy Young winner is finally starting to turn the corner after his disastrous start this season. Zito has posted wins in two of his last three starts, pitching into the seventh and giving up no more than two earned runs in those outings.

A's Sign Coveted Dominican Teen

The Oakland Athletics have signed 16-year-old Michel Inoa out of the Dominican Republic, giving the flame-throwing righty a $4.25 million bonus.  Widely considered the top international prospect available, the 6-foot-7 hurler already boasts a 96 mph fastball to go with a polished breaking ball and a serviceable changeup.  This represents the largest bonus ever awarded to a non-Cuban prospect from Latin America.  Inoa projects as a top of the rotation starter and was pursued by several other teams including the New York Yankees and the Cincinnati Reds.  Sources familiar with the negotiations report that Inoa turned down a larger bonus from the Reds due to his preference for Oakland's history of developing young pitching.  Inoa will see his first professional action in the Dominican Summer League where he will go about adding weight to his 205-pound frame.

Chris Snyder Takes One in the Crotch

Diamondbacks catcher Chris Snyder has been placed on the DL with a fractured testicle.

Injury City

Jeff Kent left today's game against the Astros with sore back.  Unfortunately there's not a lot to make fun of Kent for, except the mustache.  He's 40 years old and has started to hit again, so if this is long term, it hurts the Dodgers.  Nomar Garciaparra could replace him on the roster and in the lineup if Kent has to go on the DL.  

The Rockies lost ace (I guess) Jeff Francis to the DL with shoulder inflammation.  Fortunately for NL hitters, he'll be back pretty soon.

Moises Alou will take a few more days off before beginning his rehab assignment.  His return should really give the Mets a boost (Not).

Hideki Matsui won't be back until at least the All-Star break and may be out for the season if his knee does not improve.

The Mets lost second baseman Luis Castillo to the DL with a hip problem.  He'll be replaced by Damian Easley, who was decent in 1993.

Pirates closer Matt Capps is out two months.  He was a candidate to be traded, so now teams wishing to take advantage of the Pirates will have to look elsewhere.

Rafael Furcal To Have Surgery, Dodgers Screwed

Tomorrow's LA Times reports that Dodgers shortstop Rafael Furcal will undergo back surgery tomorrow and miss a minimum of 8 weeks.  Joe Torre cannot be happy since the club's run production has declined by almost 2 runs per game since Furcal went down.  

The Angel Berroa trade looks really good now (just kidding), as he and Luis Maza should hold down shortstop (just kidding) until Nomar Garciparra returns from his rehab assignment to save the day (just kidding).

Now would be a really good time for Ned Colleti to get off his ass and do something other than trade for players in the Royals farm system.  With this abysmal offense, the Dodgers certainly cannot rely on Berroa or Maza, even until Garciparra returns.  Even then, it will probably be only a matter of days until Garciaparra ends up on the DL again with a sunburn or lice or something.

Nomar is the wildcard here.  He went 3-3 tonight for AAA Las Vegas and is 5-8 on his current rehab stint.  If all goes well he could be in the lineup this weekend against the Giants.  In the unlikely event that he handles shortstop and improves upon the .213 combined batting average of Maza and Berroa (which would probably qualify him to hit 5th), Colleti will likely hold off on any trades for a shortstop.  

In any event, the Dodgers season continues to get worse, and while we're talking about bad news for the Dodgers, its worth mentioning that Andruw Jones could be activated soon. 

Dodgers Punish Competence, Demote Clayton Kershaw

The headline of this post really should be "Dodgers Reward Incompetence, Allow Brian Falkenborg To Continue Squandering Leads," but nobody knows who he is.  

To accommodate Hiroki Kuroda's return from the DL, the Dodgers demoted Clayton Kershaw to AA Jacksonville.  In 8 starts, Kershaw went 0-2 with a 4.42 ERA.  The Dodgers could have sent down Eric Stults, or gone with a 6-man rotation, as Joe Torre indicated he would do several days ago, but instead chose to get rid of one of the few bright spots on the Dodgers team.

Kershaw is not happy.  "Any way you spin it, I'm getting sent down.  They can say they don't have enough room.  But they sent me up when they didn't have enough room.  All those guys were healthy then."  Translation:  Why the hell is Eric Stults not getting sent down?  Kershaw is right.  He's a big part of the future of the Dodgers rotation and clearly ready for a permanent big league job.

The only thing Kershaw lacks is a big league victory, something that seems have Torre perplexed.  This probably has something to do with Torre's foolish reluctance to let Kershaw out of the 6th inning, if he even lets him get there.  Torre allowed Kershaw into the 6th inning Tuesday for only the second time this season, but immediately pulled him after 90 pitches when he allowed two runners on base.  This was rather generous of Torre, who pulled Kershaw in his last start after just 4 innings, despite allowing only 2 runs.

Dodger fans need not fret though - Brad Penny and his 5.88 ERA return Friday.

UPDATE:  Penny suffered a setback and will make at least one more rehab start before returning.  Chan Ho Park will start in his place Saturday in San Francisco.