A drunk staggers into a tavern and behind the bar sees a woman in a painting entitled "Reclining Nude."
"Hey," the drunk said to the bartender, "that reminds me. Have you got any dirty pictures of your wife?"
"No!" replied the bartender indignantly.
"Good," said the drunk. "Do you want to buy some?"
The New York Mets' trade of SP Kris Benson to the Baltimore Orioles, with Benson's wife, model Anna Benson, as a throw-in, might make for the most interesting autograph sessions since Joe DiMaggio consented to sign ex-wife Marilyn Monroe's pictures in Playboy magazine. That aside, Baltimore's rotation suddenly looks much stronger now with Benson, Rodrigo Lopez, Daniel Cabrera, Erik Bedard and Hayden Penn. With Julio Lugo gone to the Mets, the battle for closer now focuses primarily on Baltimore RPs Chris Ray and LaTroy Hawkins.
Doctor X -- the 'Baseball Medic' -- is an anonymous U.S. government trauma specialist with a Duke University sports medicine background and more than 20 years experience in emergency medicine. From time to time he considers MLB rumors, events and news reports as they pertain to baseball players' injuries, illnesses and various other disabilities, both on the field and off.
MLB Rumors editor Greg Fieg is a former sports news editor and award-winning writer whose bylines have appeared on the wires of the Associated Press and in numerous publications, including San Antonio Express-News, San Antonio Light, Houston Chronicle and Philadelphia Bulletin. He formerly was posted in various positions on the U.S.-Mexican border with Freedom Newspapers, and was a regular, independent contributor to United Press International.