Top 10 Classified Ads Clipped by Willie Randolph

10. Become a tractor trailer driver; make big money in three weeks.

9. Immediate openings for McDonald's swing managers. Must pass drug screen.

8. Make money stuffing envelopes at home.

7. Hiring men's 900-line phone actors now. Must be able to impersonate women. Gay helpful.

6. Top dollars for actors in self-mutilation You Tube videos. No crazies, please!

5. If you can draw this dog, the Norman Rockwell Art School needs you.

4. How would you like to earn $250,000 a year and work just one day a week?

3. Boys, girls make money, have fun while seeing the country selling magazines.

2. You may already be rich! Sell the gold in your teeth!

1. Buy palatial homes in best neighborhoods for as low as three dollars, then sell for millions!!!