Rangers Tom Hicks' 'If I Did It' Confession Scrapped

Rupert Murdoch's News Corp. has scrapped the publication of Texas Rangers owner Tom Hicks' autobiographical tell-all book, 'If I Did It,' a thinly disguised theoretical confession about how Hicks, if he did it, ruthlessly bludgeoned the Rangers' chances of reaching the playoffs. In the book, in which Hicks stops just short of claiming responsibility for the team's year-in, year-out disappointments, a scenario is advanced in which Hicks guts his team to pay Alex Rodriguez $250 million, then winds up paying him $9 million a year to play for the Yankees. A number of other graphic eviscerations, such as the trade of starting pitcher Chris Young and first baseman Adrian Gonzalez to San Diego for what turned out to be the virtually worthless pitcher Adam Eaton, are also detailed in an account almost universally condemned as being in unspeakably poor taste. "In retrospect, this project was very ill-considered,'' Murdoch said. "We apoligize for trying to profit from the virtual bloodbath that is the Texas Rangers franchise. It's only too ironic that the Rangers evidently aren't interested in profits anyway, so it's of little loss to them." In the book, Hicks recalled that after he executed his deeds, he attempted to dispose of a bloodied baseball bat by hurling it into the Trinity River, only to have it become wedged in the pollution like a lipstick-stained cigarette snuffed in a jar of Vaseline.